Pity da foo’

28 September 2006

I pity all of you who have been trying to call me on my cell phone. Or who will try to call me. For any time over the next two years, it looks like.

I’ve begun calling my phone “Spawn”…as in, of Satan. Because I truly believe that my phone is Satan’s Own. If Satan were to decide to use cell phones to torment the people of earth (and I’m not at all sure that he hasn’t!), the phones he would distribute would work like mine.

It hangs up on people.
It turns itself off.
It goes blank and informs me that my SIM card isn’t working.
It goes blank and then turns itself back on, after it has hung up on the caller.
It won’t ring for calls but gets voice mail just fine.
And last, but not least…
…it simply refuses to sit, stay, or roll over.

So if you try to call me and I don’t answer, try again. And maybe again. Or leave me a voice mail. That works just fine. When the phone doesn’t hang up in the middle of the message.

Never buy a RAZR, no matter how good of a deal they offer you.

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Pity da foo’

28 September 2006

I pity all of you who have been trying to call me on my cell phone. Or who will try to call me. For any time over the next two years, it looks like.

I’ve begun calling my phone “Spawn”…as in, of Satan. Because I truly believe that my phone is Satan’s Own. If Satan were to decide to use cell phones to torment the people of earth (and I’m not at all sure that he hasn’t!), the phones he would distribute would work like mine.

It hangs up on people.
It turns itself off.
It goes blank and informs me that my SIM card isn’t working.
It goes blank and then turns itself back on, after it has hung up on the caller.
It won’t ring for calls but gets voice mail just fine.
And last, but not least…
…it simply refuses to sit, stay, or roll over.

So if you try to call me and I don’t answer, try again. And maybe again. Or leave me a voice mail. That works just fine. When the phone doesn’t hang up in the middle of the message.

Never buy a RAZR, no matter how good of a deal they offer you.

Wuv da zeebas

27 September 2006

I know I do.

Whew

25 September 2006

You too should be relieved to know that the giant jumping rats of Madagascar are making such a comeback that they may no longer be heading for extinction.

In other news, the ROUS is now no longer believed to be a figment of S. Morgenstern’s imagination.

Lest you think I jest… 

23 September 2006

1. When the rain runs down my face
(washing off: the day I have put on
and the day that was put on me),
I remember the day your Touch came,
(un)gluing me from the inside.

2. When I walk on water
(in the twilight–my own witching hour)
I wonder who taught the trees
the wisdoms they whisper to themselves.

3. The ox-man’s strength is not in his arms,
nor in the way he moves on the ground;
It is in his eyes,
in the way he looks through his enemy’s heart.

23 September 2006

1. When the rain runs down my face
(washing off: the day I have put on
and the day that was put on me),
I remember the day your Touch came,
(un)gluing me from the inside.

2. When I walk on water
(in the twilight–my own witching hour)
I wonder who taught the trees
the wisdoms they whisper to themselves.

3. The ox-man’s strength is not in his arms,
nor in the way he moves on the ground;
It is in his eyes,
in the way he looks through his enemy’s heart.

(Actually, this may be TMI, though I’m posting it because it’s not like it’s something most of you don’t already know anyway…but if you’re sensitive to TMI, stop reading).

…doctors who don’t believe that, Yes, I’m really, Really, REALLY sure there’s ABSOLUTELY no way that I’m pregnant.

No sex, no Annuciation.  Truly, I think we’re covered.